The Bozonian Stone part 10

Chapter 9

One Heck-of-a Fight, and One Heck-of-a Fright

or

The Jackrabbits VS. Das Uber Lizard

(Rocky and Bullwinkle, eat your hearts out.)



"Aw, man..." Devan ran over to the edge and watched as the yellow dot that was his loyal sidekick got smaller and smaller and disappeared. "Well, you know what they say: 'no use crying over killed cohorts'." Devan walked back to his desk, picked up the phone, and hit the number on the speed dial right between 'Fire' and 'Mom'. "It's just a shame the rock went too..."

"Rrrringg... Rrringg... Hello, 'Evil Villains' Nameless Sidekicks R Us'- 'If you need a lackey, give us a cracky'. Steve here, you want to take advantage of our two-for-one toady special? Twice the toadies means twice the terror- not to mention twice the time it takes a superhero to total them while you take off..." "Look, can the sales pitch, Steve. I'm looking for a replacement for a sidekick who just bit the big one. I'm looking for something along the lines of the stupid loyal right-hand-person category, preferably reptilian... And I have a 'Frequent Fiend's club card' so if there's any discounts..."

"Hey, Boss. I got the rock."

"...Not now, I'm busy- HUH?!?" Devan turned to the sound of the voice, but no one was there.'Hmm, could have sworn I heard his voice.' thought Devan to himself. Steve brought him back to business. "Well, if your really keen on reptiloids, I got a couple of really cute baby Salamanders looking for a home." "I really don't think so- too high mantenece. Besides, I don't have anything like a fire pit..."

"Look, Boss. I also got the cocoa. Didn't even spill- How bout that."

"What the..." Devan turned around and briefly caught a glance at his old familiar sidekick- before he fell again. "Hold on, Steve. I think I'm going to have to call you back. I'll keep that two-for-one sale in mind, though..." The utterly confused turtle put the phone back on the hook and carefully walked to the edge. There was a very faint, almost undetectable >Boioioioing< noise and he saw a small yellow dot growing larger and larger.

"Hey Boss; whatcha looking at?"

Devan's lower jaw nearly dropped. "But... you... how... what..." The lizard fell again. Smaller, smaller >Boioioioing< Larger, larger.

'Oh my GOD!!! HE'S BOUNCING!'

Meanwhile, down on Terra Ferma, when we last left our anthropomorphic rabbit friends, they were up to their poopy pants in trouble;

"Haw haw!!! Ya dumb bunnies ain't gotta chance." Said one of the thousands of guards.

"Hey, Jazz.- What was that thing you always used to say?" "Um... 'When in doubt; Shoot'?" "Yeah- That was the one."

Jazz and Lori pulled out their usual guns. Eva pulled out a VERY cool-looking red one that Jazz had given her a while ago as a birthday gift (He's quite the romantic, aint he?- Never forgets a birthday, and while it may not be the kind of gift that keeps on giving, it IS the gift that keeps on letting 'em have it.)

Spaz, however, who had a slightly harder time finding his, pulled out, not one- but two guns; one was his usual green one, but the other was bulky, and odd looking, and had a dial on the side with the names of birds on it- The Rubber Poltry Gun.

With a battlecry of "SUCK SWANS, YOU COLD-BLOODED NO-GOOD-NIC NEVER-DO-WELLS" (Which, by the way, caused his companions to look at him like he suddenly sprouted a third ear.) Spaz pulled the triggers of BOTH guns, fireing a large volly of the rubber afformentioned waterfowls, as well as the usual red hot electric death into the front ranks of the army. The others were rather stunned for a second, before joining in the battle, but by that time, Spaz had already taken off running- clearing a trail with flying rubber poultry, and roasting everyone on either sides of the trail, and all the time laughing the laugh of the truly carefree- if not entirely insane- but then, it's kind of hard to tell with a rabbit who has one eye that's permanently larger then the other.

(5 minutes later, in the elevator leading up to Devan's lab observation deck.)

"That was a pretty cool action sequence, Spaz" "Yeah! How'd you learn to knock someone out with birds?" "Where'd you get that gun? Can I borrow it sometime?" "I'll tell you all later." said Spaz. "Right now all I wanna do is get my rock back and go home." "I still don't see why we can't just go home right now- WITHOUT the rock." grumbled Lori.

Then finally, there was a loud >Ding< sound, and the doors opened.

And there was Devan. "Well, well. Fancy meeting YOU here." he said with mock terror.

All four of them shot directly at Devan at the same time- however, all four shots went directly through him without any damage at all. "Geeze, I should THINK you would know better then to do something like THAT by now. I'm currently just a hologram- I just wanted to give you a little goodbye, while I sort out the plans for my reign of Carrotus." the hologram Devan reached into his shell and pulled out a huge, rather messy-looking parchment of paper. It looked like a lot of stuff had been written, crossed-out, and erased on it, and it had more then a few doodles of a stick-figure rabbit wearing a bandana being kicked in the neather reigons by a stick-figure turtle wearing a king's robe, a crown, and a large pair of glasses.

"Let's see here: First; there will be a large statue of yours truly in every city that every citizen must praise three times daily or risk punishment by public flogging. Second; everyone must pay a 5 dollar tax on all really tasty candies, or risk punishment by public flogging. Third; all toilets will be green and have stupid red bandanas on top of the tank. Fourth; 6 PM curfew for all mammals- Any mammals caught outside after 6 PM must be on official buisiness or risk punishment by public flog-"

"-Come on, Dev." Jazz said, partially trying to reason with his foe, but mostly wanting to shut him up. "We found out, and by now you must know it as well- that rock can't give you superpowers just like that: You have to have the right kind of zany personality- And YOU'RE (Pardon me for laughing) just far too logical to use it." Spaz heard this, and realised for the first time what Devan wanted his rock for. Spaz didn't really consider it's ability to bistow superpowers- it was just one of the only momento's from his victory on Bozok.

"Hmm... Good point!" said Devan, sarcastically. "Still, your wrong in saying I can't use it at all- just not directly..." "Not directly? How many other ways exactly are there to use it?"

Suddenly, a booming voice sounded.

"HELLO THERE, BUNNIES!". All four of them turned around-

-and instantly met with the killer giant eyeballs that ate Cleveland.

- Course, the real bad part was that they were surrounded by a yellow reptilian face...

To be continued... in chapter 9:

The Colossal Man-iac